Advice for John.
Our experiences cause us to harbor many fears; for example, if you were to touch an electric fence you’d not soon touch it again unless you desired the ensuing punishment. When new people enter our lives, be they friends or potentially more than that, they are to us untouched fences. Through keen observation we can attain hints as to whether or not they are electric, but only a touch can show us if we are to be harmed by them.